Changes

How hard can it be to change?

How hard can it be to reinstate myself in the world and accept my life the way it is?

After all this time, all the things I've lived, and said, and did, they haven't made me who I am, they have un-made me. My life keeps passing by because there's no way to avoid it and I'm not yet the coward I need to be to end it.

But there's no emotion. No will. No nothing.

Some days I wake up and feel better, Some days I wake up and I want to quit the world forever. But I can't. I've got a little girl that needs me and a husband that I will stay alive for because I don't want to die without him.

I need to get better. I HAVE to get better. I've got to change.

This is the first entry of my new diary, I will make one everyday to keep up a record of what's going on in my mind. And I will name it Gala, because that's the character I want to become.

I've let everything slip through my fingers, my life, my hobbies, my carreer. It's time to reach out and grab them again.

And I'll do it for her. I'll do it for Isabel.